Indian harrased in a bus

am 38 years old, married for 20 years now. I have an 18-year-old daughter. My husband is a 44-year-old General manager in a private firm in a town in India. I too work in a bank as a clerk just to pass time, as I do not like to stay at home. Due to regular aerobics at the gym I have a good body. I have a 34C bust, a 28 waist and a perfectly round 36 ass.

The incident I want to narrate happened about 4 years back. We had moved to the town only some 6 months back from the firm's Bombay office. We, being from Bombay, understood only a little of the local language, but could not speak it properly. Our house was a good 20-25 minutes from our offices. Being new in the city, my husband always used to send the car along with the driver to drop and receive me from my office. Being an inspection officer my husband used to travel a lot within the state. During those days I used to travel by auto-rickshaw (A 3- wheeler cab). My daughter who was 14 then, went to school with her friend in her car. It was Christmas Eve. My daughter, Kim, had gone to Bombay to my parents' place as her school was closed. My husband had to go to another town about 200 kilometers away for an inspection. So I had to travel by auto-rickshaw.

It was around closing time in the office when I got the news that the auto-rickshaw union had gone on a sudden strike. So I enquired about the bus number with a peon and went to the bus stop. Unfortunately for me the only friend I had in the office, Tina Patel was on a leave. So I had to travel alone to my house in a bus. Being used to the buses in Bombay I found the buses here too dirty and too bad to travel in. I had never traveled by a bus since moving to this town. As I waited for the bus, I had to leave 5 buses, as they were packed to the hilt. But due to that it was almost 5:30 and I was at the bus stop for more than an hour. It was getting dark and cold. So I decided to get into the next bus, no matter what the crowd was. As it turned out the next bus was really more crowded than a few I had left. There were men hanging off the door. I was the only one to get into the bus. Looking at me the men in the doorway got down to let me in. I saw a few of them checking me out. As I got into the bus with great difficulty I felt a few bodies brush against mine. I accidentally brushed against the crotch of an elderly man standing near the door. As I lost my balance slightly, my hand got caught a bit of his kurta also.

‘ What am I doing!' I said to myself, as I mumbled a sorry to the person.

As I walked ahead, I felt a few hands brush against my thighs and my ass. Luckily for me, a couple of ladies accommodated me between them in one of the rows of standees. The bus was really packed with two rows of standees. The bus was in a very bad condition. There were only a couple of lights at the two doors, and the bus was running at a snail's pace. The speed at which the bus was running, I knew the usual 20-minute journey would take me 30- 35 minutes at least. As I tried to look around in the bus, it seemed as if we were the only three women in the overcrowded bus. As I rested my hip on a seat handle to my right, I accidentally rested on a hand. So I stood upright again and looked down to apologize to the person.


As it was getting dark I could not see his face clearly. But the person looked at me in the eye and grinned widely. It was clear that he enjoyed the feel of my ass. Even as I was looking at him, he nudged his partner and whispered something in his ears. The other person too looked at me and then both seemed to look at my breasts under the sari. I tried to turn away slightly, but could not do so as I was standing in one row between the two women and a boy who looked in his teens on my left in the other row. Just at that time, the woman standing behind me got down at the next stop. The lady in front was a young girl of about 20-22. The dress she wore indicated that she was from a lower middle class background. She was at least 5-6 inches shorter than me and very skinny. As I turned around to see who was now standing behind me, it was the same man whom I had brushed accidentally at the door.



As the bus ran slowly, I felt a hand on my ass. It was definitely the same guys' wrist on my ass.

‘I did it accidentally, so can he', I thought.

But as time passed, the wrist stayed there, and if anything pressed against my ass-cheek. I looked back with some difficulty at the same person. He looked back at me plainly as if nothing was going on.

‘ I'll have to bear this for some time', I said to myself.

But with no further resistance from me, the hand turned around and now his palms were on my ass. Staying that way for some time, the hand started moving slowly all over my asscheeks. I gripped the vertical bar firmly with my right hand as my left hand held my purse tightly. Soon the person had both his hands squeezing and massaging my rear. I looked around with the hope that someone would stop my harassment. But as I looked to my left, the kid standing in the adjacent row was looking the in the other direction. As I turned my head right, the two men were still staring at my exposed belly and blouse-covered boobsintently. Just then, the person started tracing my panty with his fingers. This made me close my eyes, as I remembered my husband. This made the two sitting horny men looking at me to see what was happening to me. The little hope I had disappeared when the two men looked at the hands running along my panty-lines, and started giggling.

‘ God help me!' I screamed hard in my mind.

But deep down I knew I was trapped. I knew most men in the bus would be the same as the ones sitting beside me to my right. So I slowly nudged at the girl standing in front of me not bothering to ask for help from the man next to me. She turned around with some difficulty.
I looked at her in the eyes. My eyes were moist looking at her. I turned my eyes pointing towards the man behind me. She got the message I wanted her to know. But to my shock, she turned around and even moved forward slightly, distancing herself from me. I knew she did not want to get involved in this.
As I was wearing a chiffon sari, the man could easily grip my panty elastic over my ass cheeks with 3 fingers of each hand. I cursed myself for wearing a bikini panty that day. Because of this, as he pulled my panty elastic upwards, it caused the small fabric to bunch up in my ass-crack.

Now I was as good as naked under my petticoat for his hands. He frenetically massaged my bare ass for some time.

‘ Hey, what about the guy standing next to this bastard?", I thought.

I turned my head and looked at the guy. As my luck turned out, it was a blind man. Just then I gasped softly with shock as the man put his bare hands on my bare waist from both sides.

This drew the attention of the man standing beside me. His response was to smile and move slightly in my direction, further cramping me for room between him and the guys sitting beside me. My grip on the handle tightened as the palms started running over my flat belly.

Very soon he was circling my belly button. I kept as much a straight face as possible. My heart skipped a beat when he ran his fingers along the waistline of my sari.

‘ Please don't do that, the whole sari would come off if he tries to enter my petticoat', I pleaded silently.

Thankfully he too changed his mind. But soon I knew he was headed for the place every Indian man dies for. Very soon his hands were palming my breasts. To make it worse, I felt some twitching between my legs. I was definitely getting wet.

TO be continued soon

GR8 Dog

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a
clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."

Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."

The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any papers!"

Men are like

Men are like Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while

Difference

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a man?

A. A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
every woman to satisfy his one need.

Fire department

"Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone.
"Two naked men are climbing towards my bedroom window!" "This is the
Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you
to the Police Department."
"No, it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a longer ladder!"

Fateful night

I am a Desi born in America and raised, thus I lived the modernized way, and experienced things as such. I had known the pleasures of sliding into a woman's wetness, but never had my cock been touched by a tongue. Never, that is, until my now. I'm no stud. But, by the time I was 20, I was no stranger
to sex. I had sex in parked cars, motel rooms, and even the house of the girl's parents. But it was always climb-on, stick it in, wham-bam sex. I tried to lick one pussy but the girl stopped me. Said it
was nasty. If girls thought that was nasty, I knew that they would never do what I wanted. More than anything else in the world, I wanted a blow job. I wanted a girl to drink my cum.
My sister, Ashna, was home from college for the summer. She is two years older than me. I've watched her make out with her boyfriends since I turned 14 and discovered sex.
It had been awhile since I had watched her. But a couple of months ago, I came home from a date really frustrated. My balls ached. My date had let me undress her. Suck her beautiful
tits. Finger her juicy snatch. But called a halt when I tried to stick it in. She wouldn't even jack me off.
I was in my room with my favorite magazine. Open to a picture of a guy being sucked off. I was going to beat my meat. Suddenly, I heard my sister giggling in the living room. The
folks were gone for the weekend. So I knew she would let her date go pretty far. I decided to watch.
I crawled down the hall and positioned myself just outside the living room door. I had a perfect view of them sitting on the couch. He had his arm around her shoulder. His hand was already down her blouse. Playing with her ample tits. She was playing hard to get. But not too hard. She made him work for it. But before long, he managed to get her blouse off. Her hard nipples pushed against the material of the thin bra.
Ashna is a real tease. She kept pulling one side of the bra off of a tit. Letting him nibble. Then covering it back up. Only to feed him the other delicious melon. The boy had a lump in his pants bigger than my fist. Ashna would squeeze it once on a while, but she wouldn't set it free. She was driving the boy crazy. My hand was wrapped around my pole as I watched. I kept up a slow steady stroke. I wanted it to last. Didn't want to come too soon.
It took him another half hour to get her dress off. She is really sexy in only panties and bra. The crotch of her panties was set. The silken material clung to the swollen lips of her pussy.
She let the boy get his hands between her sweet legs a few times. Just long enough to stroke her hot lips. But, before he could get his hand under the leg band, she'd push him away.. She wanted it as bad as he did. I knew that. But he didn't. "Take off my panties, Ray." She whispered.
She didn't have to ask twice. He was on his knees pulling the silken sheath from her hairy treasure in an instant. Ashna even lifted her hips off the couch to help him. The lips of her wet pussy peeked out from her bush. They wanted to be kissed. I wanted to kiss them. Even if it was nasty.
She pulled Ray's head toward her mawling snatch. He didn't resist. This was new. I'd never seen Ashna let a boy lick her pussy. Guess she was older and wiser, now. Ray went to work on her wet lips and swollen clit like he knew what he was doing. He soon had Ashna squirming and wiggling all over the couch. She held his head against her pussy and humped as she groaned and came for the first time.
Finally, she released the boy's head. He pulled away, smiling and licking the juice from his lips. His face was slick and shiny with her cunt juice.
I was ready to come in my pants. But I held on. I knew that there would be more. I didn't know how right I was. I couldn't believe my eyes. Ashna reached out and took Ray's prick from his pants and kissed the purple swollen head. She even stuck her tongue in the tip and licked the drop of pre-come that clung there. She licked her lips and smiled. She liked it.
Next, Ray held her head and slipped his prick in and out of her mouth, like a cunt. She seemed to love it. Ashna moaned, groaned and sucked. I was on the verge of coming. I wanted to time it so that I shot my load when he filled my sister's sweet mouth. But that was not to be.
Ray pushed her head away and climbed between her legs. Inch by inch, I watched his pole slide into her ready snatch. Fucking was good. But sucking is what I wanted to see. Ray jumped Ashna’s hot box with long slow strokes. Her legs were around his hips and she would pull her ass up to meet his
downward thrusts. Faster and faster. Until, suddenly, he stiffened his back, snorted like a bull, and filled her quivering snatch with his hot jism.
I filled my fist with hot come, but still, I wasn't satisfied. Her mouth. All that I could think about was her mouth. I had to get my prick into a female mouth. I tiptoed back to my room. Ray left a few minutes later. I heard Ashna coming down the hall. I pretended to be sleeping. Her hand on my shoulder surprised me. "How did you like the show, baby brother!" She wasn't really mad. She loved to be watched. I figured that out a long time ago. But I played along. "What do you mean, Sis?" I replied.
"Don't be a smart ass." She spat. "I saw you sneaking around in the hall. You little pervert." She pulled the blanket off. I was naked. She probably thought that I was still dressed.
It was the first time that I'd seen my big sister at a loss for words. She just stood and stared at my nude body. My prick began to swell before her eyes. She blushed, but kept staring. "I'm sorry, Sis." I confessed. "I know it was wrong to spy on you, but Sandy left me hanging tonight. I was in
a bad way."
"Baby brother has lover's nuts." She teased. "Did you jerk off while you watched us?"
"Yes," I admitted. "But it wasn't enough. It isn't what I need."
"If you think that I'm going to let you stick your prick in me, baby brother, you are very wrong."
"I don't want to screw you, Sis." I stammered. "I want you to suck it."
Her eyes lit up. She smiled. "You mean you like a girl to suck you off?" she asked. "Ray thinks that is a waste. He will only come inside me."
"You mean you've never done it?" I asked.
"No," she confessed, "but I've always wanted to. I want to know what come tastes like."
"Well, I want to feel my cum shoot into a girl's mouth. So let's do it. What do you say?"
Her answer was to lean over and kiss the tip of my erect prick. Her lips were warm and wet. A sensation that I'd never felt. It was wonderful. Better than I'd dreamed.
Next, she took just the head into her hot mouth. Her tongue swirled around the head. It sent shivers up and down my spine. Her words, mouthed as she sucked, only added to the fire between my legs. I put my hand down her blouse and rubbed her tit while she sucked. The nipple hardened under my hand. I wanted to suck my sister's tits- but that was impossible while she had my prick in her mouth.
With each stroke, she took me deeper and deeper into her magic mouth. She loved it. So did I. My hips had a mind of their own as they pumped her sucking mouth like a cunt. I couldn't believe it. I was getting a blow job. Finally. I wanted it to last, but could feel the come boiling in my balls, screaming for release. "OH! I'm gonna come," I shouted. "Give it to me," she mumbled. "Give me your hot cream.
I'll drink it all. Suck you dry." Her head bobbed up and down even faster as the first spurt of hot jism flooded her sucking mouth. She swallowed glob after glob. And kept sucking.
It was the best come that I've ever had. I lay there on my back, hips pumping my sister's mouth, as I dumped my come into her steaming mouth.
She didn't stop licking my cock until it was completely shriveled and clean as a whistle. When there was no more come to be had, she sat up and licked her lips like a satisfied kitten.
She sucked my off again before we went to bed that night. And twice a day for the rest of the weekend. But Sunday evening, when the folks returned, we has a problem. Our new game was
habit forming. But difficult to get away with with our parents in the house.
I was afraid that we would get caught. But when her mouth touched my dick, I lost all common sense. The folks had been home less than an hour when Ashna caught me in the bathroom. She
came in while I was peeing. She took my prick in her hand while I finished; then knelt and took it in her mouth.
I came in two minutes flat. Guess we both knew that we had to hurry or get caught. She couldn't get enough.... neither could I.
We still can't.

A sexy bus journey

This is a true incident - memories of which are still very vivid in my mind... I am a 24 year old girl, convent educated. I have a fair complexion & consider myself attractive & have a good well maintained slim figure of 37-28-34 of which I am pretty proud. Around a year ago, I had to travel to karachi from Lahore on an emergency and as train tickets were not available at short notice, I had to take the overnight State roadways bus.

My seat was at the second last row of the luxury 2x2 seater deluxe bus & I got a window seat. Just before the bus departure, the seat next to me was occupied by a handsome man of about 40 years. To tell you the truth I m especially fond of older men. The journey commenced & after about an hour at 9. 00 p.m. the lights were switched off the bus became very dark inside. I was wearing a saree 'coz I had attended a marriage that evening & had brought my shawl & wrapped it around me & dozed off. After, maybe a couple of hours, I felt something on my leg & realized it was my co-passenger's hand --- surprised I thought he too had slept & by mistake his hand slipped onto the next seat & onto my thigh & I decided to ignore it. However, after 5 minutes or so he slowly started to move his hand lightly on my thigh & I then realized it was a conscious & deliberate move. Thinking I was fast asleep, he was taking advantage of the situation & trying to caress my legs ----- I was taken aback & shocked by this & was in a dilemma of what to do --- this was totally unexpected... I then decided to ignore it as far as possible, thinking he would get bored after a while and stop & I continued to act as if was fast asleep.

The bus was totally dark & seeing no protest or reaction from me, he then slowly & very deliberately, with more pressure, begin to gently squeeze my thighs. After a few minutes, he moved somewhat & removed his hand - I then felt his hand slowly trying to lift up my shawl from the side of my waist - all this with the full confidence that I was fast asleep. I was stunned by his boldness, but was still nervous & did not protest. I felt his hand slowly & nervously move under my shawl & touch my arm -- and after a few moments to gently caress it ( I was wearing a sleeveless blouse).

He then moved his hand further inside and much to my amazement, rested it lightly over my blouse on my breast... in spite of myself being shocked, I just could not stop / protest his actions and was very nervous but in a way strangely enough quite curious to see to what extent he would try to go. Seeing me fast asleep, he shifted closer to me and began to gently caress my breast... & seeing no protest from me then removed his hand to slowly slide it under my saree paloo & rest his hand firmly on my blouse over my breast. He now was slowly & firmly caressing my breast & then gently started to squeeze it... after awhile, he moved his hand further to my other breast and continued to gently caress & squeeze it also.

This continued for a few more minutes - --- I still acted asleep & unaware of his moves - though fully aware & shocked by his boldness. Much to my amazement ( I suppose encouraged by my deep slumber - he was getting more bolder ), he then moved his hand a bit, to now slowly try & open my blouse hooks in the front --- one by one he slowly opened each hook to totally open my blouse and spread it open & then slowly slid his finger through my bra onto my breast - this was the first skin contact & his hand felt very warm on my bosom... He touched my breast thru the bra -- & cupped my breast & slowly tried to slide his hand under my bra. I could not help being turned on further by this -- a total stranger was touching me intimately & I was, in spite of my initial reaction, was still not opposing it & in a way beginning to now enjoy it. The bus was in darkness & all the other passengers were fast asleep ; it was just him & me now. & - suddenly I felt I would not mind if he tried to continue further. As if reading my thoughts, he then inched his hand under my bra to try & reach & graze my nipple, which was already becoming erect in anticipation of his advances. He moved a little closer to me and now very slowly but confidently now was cupping my breast to assess it size, firmness etc & now moving his hand under my bra (under my shawl, under my paloo, under my blouse & under my bra too) - I continued to pretend being asleep & he believing it, was taking full advantage of the situation.

He managed to get his hand totally into my bra to gently touch & then try & pinch my nipple and then try & push his full hand into my bra & totally onto my breast. I was surprised at myself to allow this, but frankly was now enjoying every moment of this. He then tried to gently tug my breast out of the bra & finding it tight then moved his hand onto my shoulder to now push the bra strap off my shoulder thereby making my bra looser & was now successfully able to pull my breast out of my bra --- this was really too much - a strange man & that too in a public bus had touched & squeezed my breasts and now had managed to open my blouse completely, and my bra too, to now touch & squeeze my breasts - skin to skin!! His hand felt wonderful on my bosom and he now was getting very confident & bold in his attempts. My shawl was in disarray & he pulled it down and pushed my paloo to a side - to now totally expose one of my breasts - he continued to cup & squeeze it and pinch it's erect nipple. He also would have realized that after all this I could not really be so asleep & would be in the know of things & co-operated with him - by not resisting, though he was still cautious in his movements. He leant forward to now bend & try kiss my breasts --- this was really fantastic.

By my heavy breathing now he probably realised I was aware of his advances & confidently placed his lips on my eager nipples to slowly suck on them. I was unable to protest or resist & let him continue, but now enjoying his mouth on my breast, slowly & gently sucking on my nipple. This continued for a few more minutes & then with his other hand gently pulled me a little bit forward like a semi-embrace & he quickly slipped one hand behind onto my back & below my blouse, and in a swift motion unclasped my bra & pulled it up totally to release my other breast also. This was much more than I had ever imagined this would proceed to & now in the darkness of the bus, we were two total strangers involved a really strange encounter. His head was on my bosom & sucking on my breasts, & nibbling on my nipples - alternating between them and then he dropped his hand to the floor & he slipped it & moved his hand under my saree & begin to pull it up -- I was beyond caring then & did not protest, still pretending as if asleep -- he slowly pulled my sari up to my thighs and begin to caress them & then beginning to knead & squeeze them - He tried to pry open my legs & I voluntarily slowly spread open my legs for him and he pushed his hand in between my thighs. The bus was in darkness & no one else was aware of this erotic act between two total strangers. He knew I will not resist now & was sensuously caressing my inner thighs & moving his hand further up to rub on my panties. I shifted a little on my seat so that he could touch me better. I was already really very aroused by then.

He then got hold of my hand & placed it on the front of his trouser - he had already opened his zip / fly t & taken out his erect cock & placed my hand right on it ---- it was large 7 inch by 2 inch ( much bigger than my Boy friend) really rock hard, hot & throbbing in my palm & I loved the feel of it and also begin to caress it slowly & move my hand up & down, enjoying it's size & hardness. I was really turned on then - still no words were spoken. His head was on my bosom and he was now strongly sucking on my breasts & rolling his tongue over my nipples and simultaneously pulled my saree up to the maximum possible on my upper thighs & rubbing on my inner thighs & panty- he begin to try & pull my panty off - I also desperately wanted this & without saying anything moved up & wriggled a bit and hiked my saree up to my waist & pulled my panties off & dropped it on the floor of the bus.

The bus seat felt cold against my buttocks. I spread my legs open and he now begin to rub my vagina directly & insert a finger in to feel my moistness & with his thumb slowly rub on my clitoris too ---- I was really turned on by all this. This was really beautiful & I enjoyed it - I was already extremely turned on by then -- with his mouth on my breast, his hand fingering & caressing my cunt & I holding his cock & very soon, I had a shuddering orgasm. He then very gently pushed my head downwards towards his erection & I then too slowly kissed his cock and then slowly masturbated him till he ejaculated his warm semen onto my hand.

Still no words were spoken & I rearranged my clothes & pulled my shawl up & tried to go back to sleep as if nothing happened. I was surprised at myself at to what extent I had sex with a total stranger & had to admit to myself it was enjoyable. However, much to my surprise after 15-20 minutes he started caressing me again - much more confidently, and slipped his hand under my shawl & then tugged it off --- we started again & this time he was more relaxed, & confident with no nervousness. He started squeezing my breasts very sensuously and gently opening my blouse & bra again bent down & begin to kiss my breasts again & we started off on our erotic games again. Now he hugged me too very tightly and kissed me full on my lips, pushing his tongue deep in, and caressing my back etc.

It was really amazing. The other passengers were fast asleep ( there were two men in the seat opposite & a couple behind us & who were fast asleep). I was totally aroused then and thrilled at my own self. He pulled my saree up to my waist again & started his delightful act of rubbing my vagina & inserting his finger deep in. Much to my surprise he then moved his hand onto my shoulder slowly begin to slide my blouse off my right shoulder - I wondered why, but as it was totally dark, I did not object and then he went one step further and slid my blouse off my other shoulder and removed my blouse totally off & also my bra & I was now absolutely topless ( except for my gold chain necklace & mangalsutra) -- - my shawl was on the floor, my panties were on the floor & now my blouse & bra too - very excited he tightly hugged & kissed me on my lips& caressed my naked back and squeezing my fully naked breasts.

My saree was in any case up to my waist & I felt I was practically naked now --- next to a total stranger and having torrid & exciting sex with him. The passion we both were generating was fantastic... He was now aggressively sucking on my breasts & nibbling / biting my nipples, kissing my neck, cheeks, ears, shoulders etc he was very passionate & so was I... His cock was out too & I bend down to rub my naked breasts on it and then to nuzzle it with my lips, cheeks, etc and rub it on my face, neck & then to kiss & slowly lick & suck on it till he ejaculated totally on my face & with his hand rubbed his warm semen all over my cheeks &, lips,. It was really fantastic... We then took a break for about 45 minutes - he did not let me put on my bra or blouse & for a little while I sat next to him absolutely topless & then I managed to wrap my shawl over my nakedness.

We started off again - in full confidence of our passion and lust. --- He tried to pull me on top of him & I even sat on his lap (my saree pulled up & absolutely topless), with him, kissing my naked back & squeezing my breasts from behind & let his hard cock rub on my naked buttocks & cunt, but due to the limited space nothing more was possible - though I was willing for more. We hardly slept that night - from 11. p.m. till the break of dawn we were active (much more than what my Boy friend ever was in all ). He made climax 5 times that night - I too caressed his cock and also sucked him totally thrice, till ejaculation & to his full satisfaction - it was a most memorable experience.

The next morning we did not say anything -( & it was then that I saw his face for the first time ) - and both acted as if nothing had happened at all --- we were two strangers again ( though we had shared torrid & beautiful sex for almost 6 hours ) He gave me his visiting card & asked me to call up. Soon we reached mumbai & with a slight nod to each other we got up to leave. I looked at all the other passengers & thought how they blissfully slept thru the night while we were having wild sex - they would have been highly scandalized if they even had an inkling of what we did. After getting off the bus I realized I had left my panty & bra in the bus -- it was too late to retrieve them & I just wrapped my shawl around me & left. Later on in the bathroom at home, I looked in the mirror & saw that my breasts & nipples were totally red from his aggressive & sustained sucking and there were also red marks on my back, thighs, shoulders, neck etc. The passion of this encounter was really too much & had left it's mark on me.

This has been my most stimulating & erotic sexual experience ever - letting a total stranger intimately touch me all over, undress me, touch & masturbate me, sitting practically nude on top of him in a public bus with other sleeping passengers around, pulling my sari up to my waist etc etc. The whole seduction was just so exciting - the initial surprise then the shock, then the curiosity, then the arousal and then to being absolutely turned on and reciprocate his advances wildly - to be almost stripped nude by him & sit practically naked next to him, on him, suck him etc etc - there was risk in the encounter (some other passenger could have seen us ) but it worked like a thrilling & intoxicating aphrodisiac - also this was sex with no hang-ups / pretences & where you could really let yourself go & had no images to maintain.

For Hutch users

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

Similarity

Exams and wives are highly similar :

1.Too Many Questions.

2.Difficult To Understand.

3.Elaborate Explanation Is Needed.

4.Result Is Always Unexpected

LOGIC

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.


The Problem was who should get custody of the child.


The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody. "


The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"


The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...


Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

Marrying a lady traffic police Inspector

A man married a lady trafic police inspector.Friend:How was ur first night?Man:She charged rs100 for Overspeed,200 for wrongside entry & rs 500 for no helmet..

NO smoking

SalesGirl to Customer : Sorry Sir u cant smoke here
Customer : but i bought these Cigrates from this
store.
Salesgirl : we sell Condoms also but it doesn't mean u
start here

Chaat

Bhateja Chachi say : hum chaat kii dukan kholengay !
Chachi : per gahak keisay aengay?
Bhateja : may advertise karonga "10 rupey may Chachi
kii Chaat Loo"

formality

Boy : i shall kiss u .
Girl : if u try to kiss me . main shoor macha dongi.
Boy : but yahan tu koi nahi hai.
Girl : i know but formality tu pori karni hai na.

VARMAALA

Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead

HUUSBAND

A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is HUSBAND

Sex and Exam

Feelings of girls after Sex and Exam are same. Like: Kitna lamba
tha...!!! Kaash thoda time aur mil jata...!!! Pehlay kitna dar lag
raha tha na...!!! Baad mein patta hi nahi challa k kab ho gya...!!!
# ghantay mujhay saans hi nahi aee...!!! Aagay ka to theek tha, per
peechay ka kitna mushkil tha...!!!

April Fool

Judge: Why did u kill ur husband? Lady: He called me home from work,
took me to bedroom, removed my clothes, laid me on bed, spread my
legs and said, "April Fool".

Bhabi ki yaad

Santa "kal main teri bhabi ki yaad mae bottle da sahara lita",
Banta "te phir ki hua", santa, " bhenchod mera lund bottle wich phas
gaya"

Choose any one

Old man married to a young gal. On wedding nite he showed 5 fingers
to her. Gal said "oh 5 times" man " no darling, choose any 1"

Bahce ke sahet

Bache ki sehat ke liye zarori hae maa ka doodh or bacha ke baap ki
sehat ke liye bacha ki maa ki chot

Tutle ki zabaan

Ek totle ko interview mae 4 words bolne they: Institute, Aptitude,
Magnitude, Subtitute, totla bola "in ki chut, ap ki chut, ma ki
chut, sub ki chut"

Size of Bra

Man to salesgal, "my wife need a bra but I don't have size",
salesgal: "touch by breast n try to calculate", man after touching sales girl's breasts.. "oh.. I forgot, she need panties too

Sex style

Eighty years old man to dr "wat should be my sex style"
Dr "dogy style"
Old man " u means, peeche se karon"
Dr, "nahin, serf songo or chato"

Good Answer

Teacher "woh konsi cheez ha jo moa mae nahin leni chaye"
Bacha "jalta hua bulb"
Teacher "woh kion"
Bacha "kal maene ami ke room se suna tha, pehle bulb off karo phir
ma moa ma lon gi"

1000 ruppee note and women

A sexy woman is like a 1000 Rupee note.U don't know how many have handled it
but u still want to have it...!!!!

Problem solving

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful am I for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Difference between Mother & Wife

Q - What is the difference between Mother & Wife?

A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying & the other ensures U Continue to do so.

Sense of Humour

A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humour.

Warning

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Nice one

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Women and God

A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.

Seeing God She asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery,

the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a Facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color.

Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"

(You'll love this!!!)

God replied,

I didn't recognize you."

Difference

Q: What's difference between men's & women's cricket?

A: In men's cricket there is a short leg between two legs & in women's there is a deep gully between two legs.

ULTIMATE REJECTION

Q. What is the ultimate rejection?

A. When you are masturbating and your hand falls asleep!

What Rose drinks

One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.

She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny ?"

"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.

"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water," explained the teacher.

"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"

FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX

TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX.....

10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK
9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE
8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY
7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD
6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH
5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT
4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH
3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE
2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK
1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL

3 Wishes

The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeing Tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client.
The Client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is Quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her... Don't Reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the King from wanting to marry her.
So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you Under three conditions.
First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75-carat Diamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."
The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "No Problem!! I have. I have.
"Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "I Want you to build me a 100-room mansion in London. As a vacation home, I Want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone & calls Some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nods his head And says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."
Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows that She'd better make this a good one. She takes her time to think & finally she Gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squints her eyes, looks at the Man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, I want the man I marry to Have a 14-inches."
The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and rests his Elbows on the table, all the while muttering in African dialect.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, looking Really sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. I cut

Gabbar Singh ki Pitai

Jab Gabbar Singh ne janam Liya to, Maa Use bahut maar rahi thi.
Nurse ne Puchha-kyun Maar Rahi ho.
Maa boli-Sala Puchta hai kitne Aadmi they

Comparison

Old proverb: A smile is curve that makes everything straight.
New Proverb: Boobs are curve that makes something super straight"